The Bedroom, Aptly Named

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Ah, the bedroom.  What’s not to love?  Sleep, sex, getting lost in a book, snuggling in clouds of cozy fabrics.  

All these activities rate pretty high in the book of Why It’s Nice to Be Alive.  But in these days of compact city living and wireless access to...everything, we find more and more that clients are using their bedrooms for far too many activities, rendering the bedroom a jack-­of-­all trades and master of none.

At New Minimalism, we say let your bedroom do what it does best – contain a bed.  

Each week, we sleep for an average of 53.9 hours!  That’s a lot!  We know how important sleep is for optimal brain function, muscle recovery and even maintaining a healthy weight.  As such, you want to ensure that your space prioritizes this important function for a balanced life.

With this in mind, we think it is fitting to remind you what a bedroom is not:  

• A bedroom is not an office.  

• It is not a dining room.  

• It is not a movie theater.  

• Nor an arcade.

See what we’re doing here?  We are pointing out all the activities that often sully your poor, helpless, bedroom.  

How would you feel if you were asked to do a million things at once?  You would probably end up performing all those things at a less­ than ­excellent rate, and then you would feel bad about yourself.  Well that’s how your bedroom feels.  

For bedroom décor we say, “keep it simple.”  

Actually, we say that a lot, but this is especially true for your sleeping quarters.  Make sure the head of your bed gets the wall it deserves (and yes, this still rings true for studio apartments).  

Consider your view from lying in bed.  Is it pleasant and calming?  Or is it chaotic?  Maybe you should replace that bulletin board of outdated college photos with a picture of a landscape.  There is a reason all those medical offices have calendars photos of pretty vistas with inspirational quotes. 

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Simple space = good sleep.

Do you want to go to bed worried about what you have to do the next day?  Neither do we.  When you do activities that require active brain work in the bed, eventually you associate being in bed with working.  And that can lead to a fitful night’s rest.  

To avoid this association, remove all reminders of waking life from the bedroom.  Laptop usage is reserved for the couch/desk/dining table/kitchen counter, basically any place but the bed.  Charge your phone overnight in another room.  If you “need” to sleep with your phone nearby, at least put it on airplane mode.  You can wait until tomorrow to read what your grandma posted to your Facebook wall.  Plus, this will reduce your exposure to electromagnetic activity and your alarm will still work on airplane mode.  

Create a going ­to ­bed routine that begins to calm your mind.  

Lower the lights, keep a novel by your bedside.  Light a candle while you wash your face and brush your teeth.  Once you train your body to relax with these activities, pretty soon you will drift into sleep as soon as you open your book.

Here’s to sleeping well and waking up ready to take over the world!

New Minimalism's 11 Principles

Make-up free, slightly sweaty shot of Kyle (L) + me (R) in my living room.  Photo: Ryan.  Triptych: Cam.

What defines the New Minimalism lifestyle?

It’s not a number of things, nor a living situation.  It’s not about how often you practice yoga or how infrequently you need to empty your waste bin (though those things are often correlated).

It’s a mind set.  A way of being.  

New Minimalism believes that our external space reflects our internal state and vice versa. 

We choose to surround ourselves with things that inspire and delight us, to err on the side of donating, to choose lightness, freedom, focus, and experience over stuff.

So who are our followers?

Some live in tiny studios, others are preparing three bedroom homes for a second child. 

Some quit their day jobs and rent out their homes to travel the world .  Others find new energy to recommit to their current work, to dive deeper into their lives. 

And while each person is unique, they all honor the same principles. 

We recently clarified this list of principles and wanted to share it with you (because we are so grateful you're here and we have a feeling you might be/becoming one yourself), below:

New Minimalism's 11 Principles

1. Be present.  You allow your current situation (home size, body size, income, location, etc.) to dictate your items.  You trust that you’ll continue to have what you need when you need it.

2. Choose mastery.  You prefer to hone your skills rather than spread yourself too thin.  You know when to outsource.

3. You have the power over your stuff.  While you respect your things, you are the one in control.  

4. Embrace open space and blank walls.  Redefine your definition of “full”. 

5. Our things are not our experiences/relationships.  A memory and an object are two separate things.  Letting go of one doesn’t mean you’ll lose the other.

6. Allow one to stand for many.  You value quality over quantity.  You know, for example, that one beautiful photo can represent your love of travel. 

7. Move past the myth of choice.  Excessive choices can leave us paralyzed or dissatisfied.  You understand that creativity flourishes within constraint.

8. End the cycle of busy.  You take control of your to-do list.  

9. Have extremely high standards.  Specifically about what is allowed past the threshold of your house.  No more “Oh, this is kinda neat!” or “I can always use another tank top.”  You are supremely selective, a connoisseur of your belongings.

10. Exercise gratitude. You know that your basic needs are taken care of and you are eternally grateful for that.  

11. Honor the planet.  You know that we live in a closed-loop system.  Our actions have a ripple effect in our communities and environment, and you use your powers for good. 

Are you a New Minimalist in the making?

If you've been reading this blog for a while, you might notice that you already live by several of these principles.  Or, if you’re just getting started, try adopting just one of the principles, perhaps the one that feels the most prickly and challenging to you.  

Even Kyle and I don't have all this down perfectly.  

But perfect isn't the point.  It's about continual movement in the direction that feels best.

The 11 Decluttering Questions You Should Be Asking Yourself

At the very core of it all, the reason we simplify our things is to increase the quality of our lives.  

As New Minimalists, we believe that less time spent organizing, cleaning, tending to and hunting down our things, the better.  Instead, we use those precious hours every week to practice our art, enjoy our hobbies, give and connect to our communities, savor relationships with those we love and those we've just met.

Then why is it so hard to get rid of the things that are clearly holding us back from living this life?

Most of our clients have attempted to declutter on their own before calling us in.  They're already clear on all the potential benefits to their lives by simplifying their homes and aware of the pain and distraction their clutter is currently causing.  They know they want kitchens with clean counters and have entire pinterest boards of minimalist closets.  But for some reason they can’t release the clutter that is holding them stagnant.

The missing piece of the puzzle is not a matter of willpower or desire -- it's actually far simpler than that.  

It's a matter of semantics.  

Specifically, they're are not asking the right questions to reflect the standards they aspire to.  

We hear clients still asking questions like: 

• “Could I wear this?” 
• “Might I need this at some point in the future?” 
• “Did I spend money acquiring this?” 
• “Did I get this as a gift or from a neat trip?”
• “Does this item have value?”  

.... all of which lead to holding onto far more than you want, need, or could ever use.   What you really need to be asking the questions below:

11 questions to ask yourself when you are {really} ready for a New Minimalist life.

For items that are “useful”:

1.  Does this item provide a great benefit to my life on a frequent (daily/weekly) basis?  

2.  Is there anything I own that could do this job just as well but I like more/has more uses?

For personal momentos + sentimental items:

3.  Does this item symbolize or tell the story of my relationship with someone massively important to me OR a life-changing experience? 

4.  Does this item give me a profound feeling of love/joy/adventure when I see it?

For items of beauty or decoration:

5.  Is this item so beautiful that it speaks to me every time I lay my eyes on it? 

6.  Does it fill me with wonder and curiosity or settle and soothe my soul in ways beyond words?

For To-Dos and Projects:  

7.  Do I love this project and excitedly anticipate the time each day when I get to work on it? 

8.  Am I working on this project not because I feel I should or people expect me to or I’ve already put so much time into it, but because working on it makes my heart sing?

For Clothing and Accessories:

9.  Do I feel like a goddess/warrior/the most brilliant person in the room/the best version of me when I have it on? 

10.  Of all the clothing items in the world, would I repurchase this exact one today -- even if it cost 2x as much?

11.  Would I seek out a special tailor or seamstress to fix or tend to this item should something happen to it?

Just listen to the answers that come up for you.  

Some will be wholehearted yes's or simple no's.  There will be times when fear and guilt arise, trying to make you hold onto things that you "might need" or that you spent too much money on or that you should finish.  

And then with great love and desire for all the spaciousness and freedom that arises on the other side, choose to let it go.  Choose this new life.  Choose to have faith that life is not in the having but in the living.